Intimate partner abuse is a pattern of behavior using power and control within an intimate relationship that threatens a person's well being. Abuse can take many forms, such as physical, emotional, financial, sexual, or psychological abuse. Intimate partner abuse is committed by an intimate partner, including a spouse or former spouse, or a current or former dating partner. Intimate partner abuse is sometimes also called partner abuse, domestic abuse, domestic violence, family violence, or battering. In the U.S., every 9 seconds a person is physically abused by a current or former intimate partner. 25% of women and 8% of men in the U.S. report being physically or
sexually assaulted by a partner at some point in their lives. This means that in Marion County, more than 100,000 women and 30,000 men will be abused in their lifetime. On average, more than 3 women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in the U.S. everyday. Emotional Abuse Using Social Status Intimidation Minimize/Deny/Blame Threats Sexual Coercion
Isolation/Exclusion Escalation Increased tension, anger, blaming, name calling, etc. Explosion Incident of abuse, violence, sexual assault, etc. Cycles of abuse
Honeymoon Calm Seems like an ordinary relationship. Apologies, increased romance, or possible denial. Controlling behavior Unrealistic expectations Blaming others for problems or feelings
Sexual violence Verbally abusive Jealousy Intimidating personality Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde Sexually aggressive History of abusing other partners Rigid gender roles Hypersensitivity Cruelty to animals and children Possessive behavior Pushes for immediate commitment Lack of empathy
Abusive behavior is NOT caused by the use of alcohol or other drugs, stress, poverty, disagreements, jealousy or mental illness. The person behaving abusively is the only person who is responsible for the abuse. It is not caused by anything said or done by the person who is abused. Partner abuse is driven by a need to dominate those close to them. excuses, Financial dependence on abuser
Health problems or disability Nowhere to go Fear for life or safety based on threats Hope that violent or abuse will stop Religious beliefs Too exhausted by the abuse Belief that the abuser will change Belief that the abuser has changed A lack of supportive relationships Childrens love and attachment to the abuser Ones own love for the abuser Belief in an obligation to the relationship Family disapproval or lack of emotional support
Not wanting to be alone Fear of losing custody of the children Abuser is not always abusive Leaving the relationship might not end the abuse Most abused partners report increased harassment or even violence after they break off the relationship. 75% of women who die due to domestic violence are killed after leaving the relationship. Only the survivor can determine when it is safe to leave.
Up to 10 million children are exposed to partner abuse in their homes each year. As many as 324,000 pregnant women are battered each year. The U.S Advisory Board on Child Abuse suggests that partner abuse may be the single major precursor to child abuse and neglect fatalities. cycles of abuse cycles of abuse
Children who grow up in violent homes have a 74% higher likelihood of committing criminal assaults. (Survey of Massachusetts Department of Youth Services, Self Magazine, May 1992) 79% of violent children have witnessed violence between their parents. (Family Violence Prevention Fun, 1991 The Invisible Victim: Children of the War At Home. Source quoted as Lewis, et al. 1983) Non-Threatening Behavior Respect Trust and Support
Honesty and Accountability Self-Confidence Shared Power Communication Negotiation and Fairness helping a friend in need Validation As simple as it is, just saying I believe you goes a long, long way. Focus on safety
Address immediate needs. Contact a local advocacy group for help. It is important not to gossip or tell anyone else about the Confidentiality disclosed abuse without the survivors permission. A survivor is taking a great risk talking to you about the abuse taking action without his or her permission could Respect autonomy only put them at further risk. A key supportive role is to help the survivor locate and navigate the Connect to resources systems that may help him/her.
Patience On average, it takes 7 to 10 times for an abused person to leave their abuser. Compassion Even if you dont always know what to do, or what to say, dont underestimate how powerful your concern is to survivors of abuse. what if someone you know is acting abusively? Dont ignore abusive behavior. Your silence helps the abuser Dont turn the other cheek pretend there is nothing wrong with their behavior.
Address their behavior Focus on their abusive actions, not their whole person. Be firm: Tell the abuser that he or she is the only person responsible for their behavior, and that they CAN control their actions. Help the abuser identify and understand what abuse is. Focus on Discuss abusethe serious harm to the victim and the possible consequences for the abuser. Encourage the abuser to seek professional help. Help the Connect to resources abuser locate a certified batterers program.
Do not participate in, or allow, justifications of abusive behavior. The Dont allow justificationsonly person responsible for the abuse is the abuser. Accountability This isnt a one time conversation, and an abuser will not change over night. Keep Stay in touch supporting non violent behavior by staying in touch, offering encouragement, and keeping the topic alive. Speak out
Set an example of compassion and non violence. Speak out against abuse. breaking free from abuse Safety plan Tell someone you trust Research your options, make a plan Seek help Help is available know matter what type of abuse you are experience. Trust yourself, trust your instincts
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